Did you know that April 15-21 is "National Volunteer Week?"
For those who strive to serve others on a daily basis, setting aside a week to help others is kind of like Valentine's Day - designating a specific period of time to do something that we should be doing all the time anyways. (I mean seriously, folks, shouldn't we be telling and showing those we love that we do everyday and not just on February 14?)
That said, it is really easy to get caught up in the craziness of daily life and sometimes we need a mark on the calendar to help us refocus. Not only refocus on the act, but on the attitude with which we are performing the act. Are we serving with a joyful heart? Or are we serving out of obligation?
Are we serving others so that we can check off the box on our to-do list? Or is it because we are told to go and serve others and out of our abundance we want to be a blessing to others?
And what about when the serving that we're doing isn't really how we want to be serving? What then?
Into the Field exists to "serve the servants around the corner and around the world.".
In my head, that means a good balance between walking alongside and helping other small, grassroots Christian ministries in a variety of ways AND getting out in the field and serving others face-to-face and in a hands-on fashion. I am a very interactive person and while I have gifts of administration, my batteries get charged when I'm hugging on the kids and seeing cautious smiles broaden.
But what happens when your plans and the reality that God has put before you conflict?
To be very transparent, I have been grumbling, and then suffering from major feelings of guilt over my grumbling. I have been running on empty and feeling like I have no more to pour out. Let me explain.
My precious friend and ministry partner, Nicolle, tragically lost her husband at the beginning of February as a result of gun shots inflicted on him while serving in Haiti. The incredible faith and forgiveness which she has demonstrated - and which she is the first to proclaims comes only from Jesus - is nothing short of inspiring. And the support with which people around the world have exhibited is overwhelming. In a good way. Really. I do believe it. It has been truly incredible!
This is where my grumbling (and resulting guilt for the grumbling and lack of joy) kicked in. Into the Field serves as the fiscal sponsor for Nicolle's ministry. This means that all of the fundraising and financial support given to their work flows through my computer, through Into the Field, into my accounting package, and out to her. (This fiscal sponsorship allows ministries like Nicolle's which haven't yet gone through the IRS' process to leverage Into the Field's 501c3 status to receive tax deductible gifts.) Nearly $100,000 has been raised since David was shot on January 25. Much of that in $50 and $100 increments. Each gift requires the generation and sending of a tax receipt and one (sometimes 2) entries into the accounting system. Needless to say, my time has been pretty much consumed with administration and data entry, and very little interacting with people or serving anyone else. From early in the morning until late at night I pound on the keyboard and try to ignore the surging of my blood pressure with the (then but now past) growing publicity and fear that the little fundraising site I put up at 4a in the morning would crash.
My grumbling has made me struggle with immense guilt. Nicolle lost the love of her life; her best friend and partner. Mack and Daniella lost their dad. Widows and orphans around the world lost and advocate and servant. And I'm going to grumble about data entry? Really? When people from (at my last count) 5 different countries have shared their gifts and resources as a demonstration of support and encouragement. Grumble? Really? What kind of person am I to grumble when others have their world crumbling? What kind of friend, partner, Christian, am I?
I think that through all of this God has been working on my heart. He has been reminding me that 1) I am human and that while my reality and the things I struggle with may be small in comparison to what others are going through, it is still real to me and deserves to be acknowledged (but not dwelt upon) and addressed; 2) in fact I am doing EXACTLY what Into the Field says it does - serve the servants; 3) in the Bible He doesn't say, "Go and serve only in ways that you enjoy or feel passionate about", we're just told in simple terms, "Go" and "Serve"; and 4) when we're serving, we're to do so with a joyful heart and a song of praise on our lips.
I still am not passionate about data entry. I still would like to be spending more time out from behind my desk (I'm working on that!). But instead of grumbling, I work (I'm far from perfect) to say prayers of thanksgiving over each receipt sent, ask for protection and guidance for Nicolle as she continues to serve a living and loving God and those He puts in her path, and have a joyful appreciation for the impact that the life of David had on so many.
"Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth!
Serve the LORD with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!"
Psalm 100:1-2
Posts
